A Critic's Meta-Review: 4/5

The Shining by Steven King (REVIEW)


I like red rum.

If the groove ain’t in the pocket, then we will have to re-drum.

God, that was awful.

I will be honest with you - it is going to be quite difficult to review this book without succumbing to the inevitable temptation of making copious references to Stanley Kubrick’s phenomenally made film adaptation. However, this is a temptation I will do my best to resist (Eddie Kendricks, however, is not one that I would be able to exhibit as much restraint with), as Stephen King himself apparently hated it with a passion. He ended up making his own TV mini-series to straighten out the story and get his vision onto at least some type of screen - big or not - but, I mean...this...

... ain’t exactly this ...

Best damned bartender from Portland, ME to Portland, OR!

The reason King gave for viewing quite possibly the greatest horror flick ever to hit the silver screen (or any screen for that matter) with such ire is that Kubrick did not give as much attention, plotwise, to the fact that the Overlook Hotel was built on a Native American burial ground. To be fair to our man Stan, it was touched upon a number of times, but it definitely could have made a few more appearances - at least according to Stephen. Indeed, to the King man himself, there was simply no forgiving such an egregious omission.

But, I mean, I’m sure he will eventually get over it. You’ve got to think - how much money has that movie made him? Everybody and their mother (and their sister and their brother and their cousins by the dozen, even the husband that wasn’t) has seen it. It has Jack Nicholson - in his prime, no less - for Christ’s sake (forgive my blasphemy, folks)!




Don’t do it.

Don’t do what?



What you were just trying to do right there.

Right where?




What was I trying to do?

Reference the movie.

Oh sh- hey, but wait, isn’t that in the novel, too?

Of course, yes, but you knew what you were doing.

I simply have no idea what you are talking about, sir.

Oh, come on. You had just mentioned Nicholson!

So? A man cannot make reference to a cultural icon without being guilty of referencing a forbidden film?

No. He cannot.

Very well then.

Good day.

….I said good day!

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