Picture this: You’re doom-scrolling X, your phone glowing like a modern campfire, when you see it. One post declares, “Humans are animals, deal with it!” The next, from the same crowd: “Gender is a construct! Masculinity and femininity are toxic relics!” Hold up. The same folks waving Darwin’s flag are telling us to ditch the very traits evolution hardwired into our DNA? It’s like saying, “You’re a fish, but don’t you dare swim.”
Thinking that the actual being of male or female is somehow “problematic.” is absolutely inane. As a heretic crusader with a penchant for calling out nonsense, allow me to unpack this hypocrisy. Buckle up, we’re diving into the zoo of human nature & the cage of stupidity is wide open.
We’re Animals, Folks — Male, Female, & Fabulous
In case you never picked up the basics let’s have a refresher... Humans are primates, part of the Great Ape family, complete with opposable thumbs & a knack for drama. Evolutionary biology, as laid out by heavyweights like Richard Dawkins in The Selfish Gene (1976), confirms we’re driven by survival instincts — herd mentality to stick together, pair-bonding to raise kids, and yes, sexual dimorphism. That’s right: males and females exist, biologically distinct, because evolution isn’t a woke HR department.
Anthropologist Helen Fisher, in Anatomy of Love (2016), explains that males and females evolved complementary roles — think hunters & nurturers, not rigid stereotypes, to maximize survival. Men, expendable with higher testosterone, leaned into risk-taking & competition Women, essential biologically, and wired with oxytocin, excelled at bonding & caregiving These aren’t “social constructs”; they’re biology’s playbook, evolved over dozens of millennia.
Frans de Waal’s Chimpanzee Politics (1982) shows our primate cousins thriving in groups, with males & females playing distinct yet cooperative roles. Sound familiar? It’s us at a tailgate, a boardroom, or a family reunion—herding, pairing, and leaning into our maleness or femaleness without apology. So why do some folks treat these traits like a faux pas at a vegan potluck?
Here’s where it gets sticky. Imagine a self-proclaimed “science bro” on X, preaching, “We’re just evolved apes!” then pivoting to, “But masculinity is toxic, and femininity is a patriarchal trap!” Buddy, pick a lane. If we’re animals, then being male or female is as natural as a lion’s roar or a peacock’s strut. Yet, a vocal slice of the intelligentsia insists that gender-specific behaviors are somehow evil. It’s like telling a gorilla to stop being so... gorilla-y.
This isn’t just inconsistent; it’s stupid. Evolutionary psychology, per David Buss’s Evolutionary Psychology (2019), shows that sex differences drive behaviors like mate selection and parental investment. Men’s competitive streak? It’s why they built spears then,and startups now. Women’s nurturing instincts? It’s why they rocked cradle-making & now dominate fields like nursing. Denying this is like decrying gravity because it makes you feel “oppressed” when you trip.
The kicker? These same critics herd together in echo chambers, preaching anti-gender gospel while swiping for partners on apps because, surprise, pair-bonding is still a thing. They’ll call masculinity “aggressive” but cheer when their gym-bro date lifts a couch. They’ll decry femininity as “submissive” but melt when their partner plans a cozy date night. It’s cognitive dissonance so loud it could wake a hibernating bear. With society caught between TikTok manifestos & real-world relationships, it’s a comedy goldmine, until you realize they’re serious.
Why the Hate? The Cultural Cage of Anti-Biology
So, why this obsession with vilifying maleness & femaleness? Blame a cocktail of cultural trends & overzealous idealism. Since the 1960s, social movements have habitually challenged rigid norms, but some have overshot into rejecting biology itself. Jonathan Haidt’s The Righteous Mind (2012) suggests our moralizing brains love simple narratives like oppressor vs. oppressed, male vs. female while ignoring the messy truth of evolution. Add social media’s outrage amplification, and suddenly, being a man who likes sports or a woman who loves baking is an issue. This hits the millennial-to-Gen-X crowd hard. They’re told to “deconstruct” gender while biology screams, “Yo, I’m still here!” Studies from the American Psychological Association show this dissonance fuels anxiety. We’re animals trying to outsmart our animalness, like a dog chasing its tail but with better Wi-Fi. How ironic that those shaming gender norms often conform to their own tribe’s dogma, herding just as hard as the rest of us.
The fix? Stop pretending biology is the enemy. Embrace being male or female without the guilt trip. Science says it’s okay to lean into your instincts, whether that’s deadlifting or decorating a nursery. The stupidity lies in thinking we can erase millions of years of evolution because it doesn’t fit a tweet.
Let’s wrap this with a truth bomb... Humans are animals. Male, female, herd-loving, pair-bonding beasts. Pretending otherwise while waving the science flag is as dumb as a chimp trying to code in Python. Here’s the deal: Own your biology. Love your maleness, your femaleness. Herd with your crew, pair up if it feels right, and laugh at the absurdity of those who think you shouldn’t.
As de Waal might say, we’re apes with better PR. So why not strut our stuff without apology? In the grand circus of life, the only clowns are those who think evolution’s script needs a rewrite. Go forth, my fellow Pan Sapiens & live your truth. References Buss, D. M. (2019). Evolutionary Psychology: The New Science of the Mind. Routledge. Dawkins, R. (1976). The Selfish Gene. Oxford University Press. de Waal, F. (1982). Chimpanzee Politics: Power and Sex Among Apes. Johns Hopkins University Press. Fisher, H. (2016). Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray. W.W. Norton & Company. Haidt, J. (2012). The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion. Pantheon Books.