Few things seem as harmless* as an orgasm. We have found this fleeting and physiological fairy-tale emotional experience captivating, unquenchable, and almost harmless for millennia. Despite being so close to harmless, it's ironic a third of all laws have some connection with the orgasm: procuring it, selling it, impregnating it, forcing it, paying child support for it, and basically any time where pleasure goes wrong. You might not remember the night you slept with someone, but you'll remember 18 years of paying to raise your accidental kid, love 'em or hate 'em.

*harm is a social construct

And lots surrounding sex that is bad or forbidden or taboo or illicit or illegal or wrong. There is so much wrong with sex that getting it right is problematic. People seem to want everything to be "correct." Despite that, 110 million people worldwide are engaged in sex right now.

There is nothing else like an orgasm. It is a unique instrument for continuing the species and should be equally a reward for helping someone with car problems. It moved us forward like nothing else on Earth.

For a precious moment, your body is on a free fall into bliss, and as pink clouds pass you by, it seems like nothing can stop this bestowal of all those treasures you sought from the gods. It is the feeling of victory; all you can think is that you've won! Yes, Prometheus, you've stolen the fire from the gods for a moment.

In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.― Woody Allen

Nothing else matters during orgasm. Not even the police banging on the motel door will stop the multi-sensory, psychological, and spiritual paths running to and fro inside your endorphin-rattled mind. Everything falls away from importance during an orgasm; Heaven runs across us like a short but powerful breeze.

Yet, as quickly as it began, it is over. And here's the rub: if it involves another person - often getting to the point of an orgasm is expensive, it takes a lot of tedious time to go from 1) wanting an orgasm to 2) the orgasm is finished.

In between, you may be forced to rent an exotic car, buy a large lunch, hire a dwarf, mow the lawn, or look through old photo albums. Sex is never free. Even though it's illegal to charge for it, and it is "free" to give away (it is never free).

Now piercèd is her virgin zone;
She feels the foe within it.
She hears a broken amorous groan,
The panting lover's fainting moan,
Just in the happy minute.
― John Wilmot

We humans begin our lives with at least one orgasm - but once dad has done what he considers his part of the pact, that's it. He can just as easily roll over on his flaccid penis and fall asleep. Or he can make a Slushee to replace his lost electrolytes, or he can pick up the game where New Orleans was ahead by three points. Dads forget about sex once it's time to hunt (or at least occupy themselves with the remote).

Oblivious to almost anyone at this moment is that one exceedingly energetic sperm is climbing its way up to and into the docile egg. There are forty-two medical ways to prevent this from happening, but since women are reluctant to do about as much to prevent pregnancies as men, shit happens, and babies are born (or terminated).

Procreation, conception, birth of a new human! And so a tiny clump of cells slowly becomes a tax-paying human being. All because you got turned on and horny with the wrong person. C'mon, most of the time, it's the wrong person - it's never the woman we dreamt of settling down with - it was that woman at the party you gave into. But this is your life sentence for 18 years.

Which is all good for procreation, going forth and multiplying, and keeping the rival gang numbers up - but it's caused a lot of friction with women who enjoy partying, getting a career, and having more sex.

Pregnancy is no longer a sacred act. It is barbaric to conceive that only women can conceive. Feminists hate this fact. So, they are trying to change the chemistry of our language. But chemicals react. Trans-people "existing" is one of the most intensely falsifiable fads sane people have had to endure, and men are urinating in front of little girls. Legally. It makes flashing someone by opening your trenchcoat and exposing yourself seem like its golden age was over. This is the new reality.

Sigmund Freud knew more about any of this than most people can forget. Freud invested a great deal of time trying to express in an equation just how much repressed sexual desires, infantile erotica, sexual trauma, craziness(hysteria), paranoia, and combinations of off-label sexual inclinations and fetishes equaled "sanity."

The Female Orgasm. The Big O. That elusive, reclusive Loch Ness of the labia. Does it prove the existence of God, or just His twisted sense of humor?― Kirstie Collins Brote

In this war against understanding how humans worked, Freud developed psychoanalysis, a clinical method for evaluating and treating pathologies seen as originating from conflicts in the psyche and the distinctive theory of mind and human agency derived from it. He really was onto something. Freud made us into the people we understand we are today. He put forth a realism about gay sex that it was not a disease. (Freud had a $10,000/day cocaine habit. Read into that what you will).

His student, Carl Jung, took from Freud what valuables he'd discovered and made a far more welcoming advance toward the sexual creatures we are, so history pays back Freud through the world Carl Jung shows us all these decades on.

The sum Freud sought never gave up its equation, but we are a pretty difficult species when held against the rest of the animal kingdom. Sex is a dominant ingredient to living life. Everywhere else, it is procreation, so it is war that a baby be born. The better we look, the more fit we are, the number of video games we've completed, and there is an almost endless supply of requirements that either get you sex or get you rejected.

Sex, at least until the last decade or so, was studied with attractiveness, strength, skill, and hallmarks of being a great lover. That little orgasm made for a few millennia of chivalry, parties, and nudity. Then there was a clash over women resenting they have to carry the child, there was Roe vs. Wade again, which unhinged the taboo, there were forty-two types of birth control, and there were big guys kicking sand in the faces of small guys.

It's hard to see how the most natural thing for a couple to do - we, built in the image of God, are actors in our own porn tape. And the almighty orgasm that takes us from stalking to weddings to murders to rape to alimony to blame.

If there's a heaven, I hope it's like a 24/7 orgasm. "OH GOD-D-D - I'LL SEE AUNT RUTH LATER!" It'd be fair for surviving a shitty life, and it'd give nuns what they deserve as well as reward all the few decent Christians who held onto chastity through puberty. "Hell" would be missing out on that.

for millennia

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