It's never too late...

Say, Uncle! Another planksip Möbius.

Say, Uncle!

In the whimsical town of Avonlea, which wasn’t so much a hub of excitement as a place where tumbleweeds went to vacation, there stood a shop that baffled the local populace. "Say, Uncle!" was its name, and it looked like a rainbow had collided with a tornado. Sophia, the owner, had decorated it with the kind of gusto typically reserved for a circus clown’s birthday party. Her shop was an eclectic bazaar of the strange and the stranger, a sort of garage sale curated by the Mad Hatter.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.
— George Eliot (1818-1890)

This quote was plastered right above a collection of vintage whoopee cushions, which Sophia firmly believed were a metaphor for untapped potential and not just, well, hot air. The shop was her late-in-life brainchild, a testament to the fact that one could pivot from a drab existence to a fabulously eccentric one at any given moment.

One fine day, as the sun decided to make a rare guest appearance in the cloudy domain of Avonlea, in strolled Alexander. He was the sort of man who matched his socks to his tie and considered a well-organized spreadsheet a wild Friday night. However, he harbored a secret rebellion against the order of his everyday life: watercolor paintings of birds, which he was terribly bad at.

Upon entering "Say, Uncle!" he was struck by the sheer audacity of its interior décor. The place was a visual shout. Möbius strips dangled from the ceiling like the aftermath of a mathematician’s bender.

"Sophia, was it?" he ventured, as a contraption that looked suspiciously like a perpetually moving drinking bird toy nodded in his direction.

"Yes, purveyor of dreams and dealer in the currency of imagination," she replied with a flourish, as though this explained everything.

Alexander shared his struggle with his latest masterpiece: a bird that looked more like a winged potato. “I’m on the brink of giving it all up,” he confessed, expecting a sympathetic nod or an encouraging platitude.

Never, never, never give up.
— Winston Churchill's (1874-1965)

She recited the quote with a drama teacher’s panache, gesturing grandly towards a painting of a chicken in a tutu. “If Winnie could rally a nation, you can certainly rally a paintbrush!”

Their banter became a staple at "Say, Uncle!", where Alexander's artistic angst clashed gloriously with Sophia’s boundless enthusiasm. It was a place where the prospect of failure turned into a dare rather than a doom, and where the phrase ‘never give up’ was less a motivational poster and more a battle cry against the ordinary.

Their friendship was a dance of the droll and the delightfully daft. One evening, when Alexander mused on the viciousness of critics, Sophia offered a slice of her acerbic wisdom with a smirk.

Word — that invisible dagger.
Emil Cioran (1911-1995)

“To heck with ‘em,” she said, waving an abstract sculpture that accidentally doubled as a potential weapon. “If words are daggers, we’re making balloon animals out of them!”

In Sophia’s emporium of the eccentric, words weren’t just letters strung together; they were playthings, catalysts for laughter, and occasionally, the cause of minor mayhem when taken too literally. "Say, Uncle!" became their cocoon of quirkiness, where the word 'surrender' was about as welcome as a porcupine in a balloon factory.

Through their alliance, they concocted a potion of humor so potent that even the dullest of days turned into an episode of unintended comedy. In the vibrant chaos of "Say, Uncle!", the duo proved that indeed, it is never too late to be a walking punchline, to never give up on a joke, and to always remember that words, like rubber chickens, should sometimes just be squeezed for the fun of it.

Say, Uncle! Another planksip Möbius.

The planksip Writers' Cooperative is proud to sponsor an exciting article rewriting competition where you can win part of over $750,000 in available prize money.

Figures of Speech Collection Personified

Our editorial instructions for your contest submission are simple: incorporate the quotes and imagery from the above article into your submission.
What emerges is entirely up to you!

Winners receive $500 per winning entry multiplied by the article's featured quotes. Our largest prize is $8,000 for rewriting the following article;

“I see!” said Homer
A deluded entry into Homer starkly contrasts the battles and hero-worship that united our Western sensibilities and the only psychology that we no? Negation is what I often refer to as differentiation within and through the individual’s drive to individuate.

At planksip, we believe in changing the way people engage—at least, that's the Idea (ἰδέα). By becoming a member of our thought-provoking community, you'll have the chance to win incredible prizes and access our extensive network of media outlets, which will amplify your voice as a thought leader. Your membership truly matters!

Share this post