Pessimistic Tendencies

Negative Loupe and a planksip Möbius.

Negative Loupe and a planksip Möbius

Sophia's curiosity shop was less of a shop and more of a resting place for the bizarre, where even time seemed to get lost among the myriad of oddities—a procrastinator's paradise. Picture a place where a Möbius strip is the business model, and you'll have a good idea of the whimsy she was dealing with. The shop's prize piece was a loupe, not just any magnifier, but one that had the uncanny ability to invert reality, a sort of philosophical funhouse mirror.

Enter Alexander, a man who walked in looking for nothing in particular and thus, perfectly equipped to find something in Sophia's labyrinth of the peculiar. His gaze fell upon the loupe and Sophia, never one to miss an opportunity for a bit of banter, presented it with a flourish. "Behold, the lens that shows the world as it truly is—upside down!"

Alexander, who'd never met a sarcasm he didn't like, retorted, "Ah, perfect. I was feeling far too right-side-up today."

It is not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late.
— Emil Cioran (1911-1995)

Alexander read aloud the quote displayed next to the loupe. He raised an eyebrow, "I suppose this is your return policy?"

Sophia chuckled. "No, but it's a friendly reminder that perhaps we're all a little late to the existential crisis party. By the time we're old enough to fret about the meaning of life, we're halfway through the buffet line."

As they conversed, Alexander found himself drawn into the comedic paradoxes Sophia posed, each item in the shop a punchline to a joke they were composing together. The afternoon stretched into an improv session, with the loupe acting as their prop, distorting images and perspectives, much like their quips contorted conventional conversations.

They poked fun at the austere, the serious, and the outright ridiculous aspects of existence, finding solace in their shared mockery of life's absurdities. In a world overly saturated with the grim and the grave, the shop became a stage for satire. The more they talked, the more the shop seemed to transform from a mere retailer of relics to a gallery of guffaws.

The hours ticked away unnoticed, the hands of the antique clocks in the shop lazily applauding their jests. By the time twilight began to paint the sky with shades of irony, neither Sophia nor Alexander seemed keen to bring the curtain down on their comedic duet.

As they parted, Alexander purchased the loupe, a souvenir of the day when the world's gravity was made lighter by laughter. "I'll return," he promised, "if only to ensure that the world hasn't suddenly turned right-side-up again."

Sophia waved him off with a mischievous grin, certain that their shared sarcasm had not only invigorated their spirits but also brought an unexpected clarity to their views of life's grand theater. As the bell above the door chimed his exit, she thought, "Who knew a loupe could not only magnify but also clarify the hilarity of human folly?" With a shop full of enigmas and a heart full of humor, Sophia was ready to greet the next seeker of the absurd, the inverted, and the utterly human.

Negative Loupe and a planksip Möbius.

The planksip Writers' Cooperative is proud to sponsor an exciting article rewriting competition where you can win part of over $750,000 in available prize money.

Figures of Speech Collection Personified

Our editorial instructions for your contest submission are simple: incorporate the quotes and imagery from the above article into your submission.
What emerges is entirely up to you!

Winners receive $500 per winning entry multiplied by the article's featured quotes. Our largest prize is $8,000 for rewriting the following article;

“I see!” said Homer
A deluded entry into Homer starkly contrasts the battles and hero-worship that united our Western sensibilities and the only psychology that we no? Negation is what I often refer to as differentiation within and through the individual’s drive to individuate.

At planksip, we believe in changing the way people engage—at least, that's the Idea (ἰδέα). By becoming a member of our thought-provoking community, you'll have the chance to win incredible prizes and access our extensive network of media outlets, which will amplify your voice as a thought leader. Your membership truly matters!

Share this post